Emotionally this has been a trying week for me. There isn’t a big storm cloud in my life, nothing catastrophic has come my way, but I seem to be making mountains out of my molehills in all areas of my life. Usually I will take that burden and throw it over my shoulder like a backpack filled of stones and let it weigh me down until I am utterly exhausted. My prayer tonight was, God take these stones, unpack these burdens and give me a new perspective.
Gosh, three is an incredible ages. There are moments I am brought to my knees in tears and prayers. Thirty minutes later, you can't wipe the smile off my face in pride. And then there are the moments I laugh so hard, I can't catch my breath! (although you moms know all to well the laugh that has to be muffled lest your child thinks what they are doing is entertaining enough to be repeated....)
“I live in a world of extremes,” I blindsided my husband the other day withy my world shattering epiphany. He stood there in stunned silence, part of him wanted to do a celebratory dance of this revelation that he’s lived with for years and the other just wanted to embrace me in a long, much needed, hug. He knew that for me this was a huge breakthrough. I had finally seen the truth and just maybe it would start to set me free. My anger can come like the quick bolt of lightning flashing across a dark sky, there and then gone.
I’m going to admit something that some might completely cringe at….I am not good at changing out the scrub sponge on my dish brush. Its some where around the time the smell of mildew hits my nose that I figure it might be time for a new one. Today I was frantically scrubbing my daughter’s favorite cup, because she demanded that no other would do, and I started thinking about the possibility of that sponge being tainted with colonies of germs.
The traditional marriage vows should be amended to include, “I promise to practice humility daily.” Pride is a nagging shadow I can’t seem to outrun most days. I don’t set out with the intention of letting my pride win again, but I open my mouth and my words are tainted with selfishness.
How the mind connects to our emotions is completely fascinating to me. During a tough day this week I posted a picture saying that eye contact was feeling way too hard. That prompted me to read about the science behind looking each other in the eyes.
A big part of the struggle with our health is healing the thoughts we have about ourselves. When we look in the mirror so often we go through a mental cycle, almost like a checklist...
The season of being a mom to littles is not always easy. Our identity as a woman shifts from selfish desires to self sacrificing love for our children. Even though we spend nine months trying to prepare, it takes a single second for everything to change. I don’t want to downplay the overwhelming joy, because it’s there and it’s raw and incredible, but there really isn’t a way to prepare for the soul shaking changes. The first few years of life our babies are in a constant state of growth.
God calls us to rest. That word is mentioned thousands of times in scripture, so it must be important. As I set out to understand what it means to seek divine rest, I came across a sister blog. A sweet East Texas momma Ester Anderson said, “There is one expression that is often used by Spanish speaking moms: “Santo silencio” which translates to holy or sacred silence.” Goodness, I need some sacred silence in my life.
