All in Mommyhood
Emotionally this has been a trying week for me. There isn’t a big storm cloud in my life, nothing catastrophic has come my way, but I seem to be making mountains out of my molehills in all areas of my life. Usually I will take that burden and throw it over my shoulder like a backpack filled of stones and let it weigh me down until I am utterly exhausted. My prayer tonight was, God take these stones, unpack these burdens and give me a new perspective.
Gosh, three is an incredible ages. There are moments I am brought to my knees in tears and prayers. Thirty minutes later, you can't wipe the smile off my face in pride. And then there are the moments I laugh so hard, I can't catch my breath! (although you moms know all to well the laugh that has to be muffled lest your child thinks what they are doing is entertaining enough to be repeated....)
“I live in a world of extremes,” I blindsided my husband the other day withy my world shattering epiphany. He stood there in stunned silence, part of him wanted to do a celebratory dance of this revelation that he’s lived with for years and the other just wanted to embrace me in a long, much needed, hug. He knew that for me this was a huge breakthrough. I had finally seen the truth and just maybe it would start to set me free. My anger can come like the quick bolt of lightning flashing across a dark sky, there and then gone.
The season of being a mom to littles is not always easy. Our identity as a woman shifts from selfish desires to self sacrificing love for our children. Even though we spend nine months trying to prepare, it takes a single second for everything to change. I don’t want to downplay the overwhelming joy, because it’s there and it’s raw and incredible, but there really isn’t a way to prepare for the soul shaking changes. The first few years of life our babies are in a constant state of growth.
God calls us to rest. That word is mentioned thousands of times in scripture, so it must be important. As I set out to understand what it means to seek divine rest, I came across a sister blog. A sweet East Texas momma Ester Anderson said, “There is one expression that is often used by Spanish speaking moms: “Santo silencio” which translates to holy or sacred silence.” Goodness, I need some sacred silence in my life.
